The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,000 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 33 trips to carry that many people.
Since I’ve decided to change my life, I went back to journaling (journal+writing LOL just kidding). Eons ago, I started keeping a diary and I have at least written three to four dairies before I got caught up with life and its absurd busyness. By then, I stopped jotting down my emotions and instead, relied more on other people (expressing my feelings) which I believe was one of the not so good ideas I made. Why? Because along the way, I lost touch with myself. I ceased listening to my inner voice. I spend more time waiting for others to hear me out and when they don’t have the time, I end up feeling bad about it. Rather than knowing and loving myself more as the years passed by, I eventually alienated myself from myself and even became overcritical. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t take much to berate myself. I would often talk harshly for petty things that don’t really make a significant impact to my life or to others (a realization after some introspection).
People used to term it “midlife crisis”… Well, I won’t. Rather, I’ll call this my early midlife awakening. Yes, awakening because for years I’ve been in a deep slumber, in a sense, that I allowed my life to be in autopilot. Somehow it felt like I was just a spectator of my own life – I was on the side watching it passed me by. Of course there were moments when I actively participate in it but most of the time I just let things unfold on its own whether I want them to or not. On some days, I would think that my life is out of my control, even though I’m well aware that I have within me, the power to change my circumstances. Yet, I didn’t have the courage to do what I needed to do or perhaps my pride and fear got a better hold on me.
Unexpectedly, a wonderful yet painful life event happened to me. I got pregnant then I had a miscarriage. That’s when I started to see my life in a different way. Some say that maybe I’m experiencing postpartum syndrome or that I’m still depressed with my miscarriage. They may be right, they may be wrong so I will not discount their theory. However, as I know myself better, the life changing decision I made was done because I finally understood a little more about life and what it means to fully live.
In life, we often always meet people unexpectedly who will eventually become a part of our life – our existence. Sometimes we think that we’re given this opportunity so we can touch their life but most often than not, it is the other way around. Take for example this person that I unintentionally welcomed into my life – my heart. At first, I thought that I’m here to guide and protect him from possible injustice. However, as the days and weeks and month passed by, I realized that I have allowed this person to settled into my heart without him knowing it nor did I. Today I realized that I met him not because I was destined to help him, instead I met him to learn a lesson or two.
Continue reading “Goodbye… Heart breaking but needs to be endured”
Her.Story 